We got to the park as early as six am. I have been dreading this trip since the day I learnt that the wedding was in akwaibom. Hmmmm, a whole ten hour journey mhennnnnn by road!. Anyway , we boarded and started the journey. Just as we were about turning into Abraham adesanya roundabout, the bus broke down in a pool of stagnant water. That was the beginning of my crankiness. The “area boys” around were happy because it meant free money for them for doing absolutely nothing . As a matter of fact, they refused to allow the transport company fix the ditch because it was a source of income for them. We sat in the bus for about thirty five minutes while the driver went back to the it park to seek help. All the while we sat, not one person from their customer care unit called or came to pacify us, customer service in this country is so dead….. I stood there thinking of how to drag them in the mud for this dastardly act, so I took to my Twitter and called them out big time. I was glad I did because the response thereafter was swift. We offloaded into another bus and began our journey.
The journey through Epe was quite smooth regardless of the ongoing road construction. wW made a brief stop shortly after Ijebu-ode for quality control . I am drafting this post on the move out if of boredom, I don’t even know where we are at the moment. I need to sleep ” jere “,I’ll continue writing when I wake up . Wow !Ore already…. I bought banana and groundnut at my own risk. The driver turned on the TV after much shouting and resistance He inserted a disk with Nigerian movies. I couldn’t believe that people actually sat down to script this movie , itnwas an eye sore, very disgusting and disturbing. As if that was not enough, he changed the CD to a comedy series , that was even worse. It was so dry that I started laughing. I don’t even know what to do with myself I’m just sitting and staring at the road . Benin seems so far though, I actually hate traveling but love the idea of being in a new place. The process is just stressful be it road or air. It’s been four years since I traveled .
Yayyy! Edo state at last. I never knew how big it was until now , that state is massive with lots and lots of green land. It’s unlike Lagos State. Ahah, see women riding okada o, mostly fat woman . Shuu! Loll….this feels really strange and funny lollll…. Just imagine the sight , women in wrapper and hair net with bathroom slippers rinding okada , with breeze blowing out their blouses like Superman. “ Mummy where are we? , Agbor “. Na wa ooooo , na so-so bike dem dey ride for agbor?” See another one oo loll. Anyways , I’m wide awake now. We just arrived Asaba, oh wow! lovely landscape. Nigeria is so blessed, our topology is so beautiful. On a second thought , I just might travel more at least to see more of my country. The trip isn’t bad as I thought it would be , but I will definitely get a massage once I step into Lagos for one hour. The official cab color in Asaba is blue and white. The environment is quite serene reminds me a lot of Benin City. I can imagine how massive Bendel state was before it was split, must have been easily the biggest state in the south I guess. I can see the Niger bridge wow! This is so fascinating really, I should travel by road more often . Omg! we are on Nigeria bridge heading towards Onitsha.. .
Ndewonu oooooooi! Anambra state . So I’m officially in the east for the first time in my life yeaahhhh!!!!!!This place is fine, neat and lovely at least the places I am seeing o. Their official bus color is yellow and white , but looks like silver to me . We sill have two or more states to go, Imo and Abia whew! So far, I think Lagos is about the only state with so many fly overs , I guess it is because of the large water mass. Oboi! ” Anambra plenty o”, we are still driving hian . Imo state Ndewonu ooooooo. “Dazzol “, I don’t have the energy to write an epistle, it’s a beautiful place , NEXT…. Ok , I said I wasn’t going to write anything about Imo state but I just cannot resist. All the roads are good , and properly tarred . I learnt that they were very bad as at two years ago. Weldone ROCHAS OKOROCHA….
What’s this? bad road and dirty everywhere,in-fact this road is an eye sore and it spans all the way down to the end. What state is this self? ABIA!!!!!😝😕😟😱. OH WOW, what a shame. Far cry from all other state yuk!!!!! Abeg I will not waste my time writing about this state . All I can say is NO ROAD!!! . Ewo , what is this I feel , oh God no , my stomach “abeg na” . I knew this was going to happen after finishing half a bunch of banana and groundnut , have mercy Lord . You know there’s this trick we used to do as children, when ever you feel pressed just rub your navel with saliva, and you feel better , sounds funny but it has been working from childhood till now now, I just did it and I feel pressed no more 😂. One of my life hacks……hmmmmm we are still in Abia o, this is 8:02pm the road is soooo bad 😖😞😟.We are 20 mins away from ikot-ekpene and just passed the last check point. Umuahia roads shaaaaa, hmm it is well.
Finally!!!! Ikot ekpene at last. “Adonbelieveit!”, so I did this trip ? Wonderment . Hmmm , this is 8:30 on the dot. This was an out of body experience, I’m yet to come to reality .If there’s anything like ROAD TRIP LAG I have it right now. All want now is to get to my hotel room and sleep, I will write about ikot ekpene tomorrow. Thanks for riding with moi.. XOXO .
I know I promised to write about ikot ekpene, “I no gree see eye for that one at all”, I was super tired and grew darker . Gosh , I didn’t know stress made me dark until this weekend , I didn’t even take any pictures. Anyways, thank God the wedding went very well both traditional white wedding. The church service was one funny event , I felt I was in a scene from one old Nollywood movie Lol. It was an apostolic church , I cannot go into the details of that service at all because this post is already long enough.
We are already on our way back to Lagos and the journey seems shorter than when we were coming. Meanwhile, my seat mate is giving me course for concern …..oh noo she wants to eat!!!!!! She’s a light skinned lady probably in her mid forties , she may be younger I dunno , she’s on the big side , so big that her bumbum is spilling into my side of the seat.” She just sit down like one chief and I don’t even know hot to tell her to adjust ” it’so annoying… Firstly, she started by coughing with her mouth wide open and few minutes later I started coughing just imagine . Now she’s eating hot rice I just hope she will not end up dozing on my body.
What’s that foul smell, oh my , you see why I was panicking when she started eating? and we have 4 hours to go. This woman is just having a blast at my expense abi, if I do my own eh hennnnn, somebody should warn her o. We are in Edo state now that’s about four hours to go, this trip was quite fast though, i cannot wait to get home, she is still farting oh God! Ajah at last!!! Freedom !!!!, meanwhile she farted till she alighted it is well. Even though it was a fairly smooth journey , i never want to experience it again gosh!!!!! this is a onc ein a life time experience.